On time and relationships

It is a well known fact (or should I say opinion) that the quality of a relationship is directly proportional to the time spent on it. Of course, there is an optimum amount of time beyond which "familiarity begins to breed contempt," but by and large most of us agree that a good relationship is built over time, whether personal or professional.

In practical terms, this may end up being counter-intuitive. If we are in a detoriorating or bad relationship, our natural urge is to get away from it and stay away from it. This further diminishes the time we invest in the relationship and it keeps worsening. And so the vicious cycle continues till one day things come to a boil - threats of withheld payments and even direct assaults on reputation.

So what I learnt today is hardly insightful, but nevertheless very true and useful - swallow the bitter pill and do it while there is still time. If you are facing a threatened or worsening relationship, sit down with the guy (preferably over a drink) and lay it all out on the table. Then find where your perspectives overlap (no matter how small this commonality is), focus on that and build a realtionship that will help you move forward with the client (or away from the client, depending on the situation.)

While all this may seem painfully obvious, it is equally painful to note how rarely this is practiced. Instead, typical common strategies include:

• Hoping that soon other members of the client organization will realize what a moron this guy is and get rid of him - and all will be well again
• Come on! We are the next best thing to baked bread! Those guys can't do without us. This guy is just an irksome irritant. Just ignore him
• Get into a huddle with your partner and strategize on how to expose what a moron he is
• Spread the poison...

I guess most of us intuitively know which strategy has the highest chance of success. So why is it so difficult to practice? Is it ego?